spider jerusalem

Syria: It’s Time To Worry

The Syrian Civil War has been characterized by the United Nations as the “great humanitarian crisis of our age”.  A nation of twenty million, Syria has lost twenty percent of its population, most of whom have fled as international refugees.  On the other hand, over a hundred thousand foreign militants have gone there to fight, and the armed forces of a dozen nations have deployed in what has become one of the biggest proxy wars in all of history.

And it’s nearly over. (more…)

Reality Check

It’s getting so I hate to turn on the news.  I physically cringe.  Bear with me here.

Here’s a quick recap:  There was a shooting yesterday, a man I think can best be described as a domestic terrorist plinking away at a Congressional charity baseball team at practice.  There was a horrific fire at a London apartment highrise where, apparently, the sprinklers malfunctioned and dozens of people were killed.  (It’s been called “corporate manslaughter”.)  Congress approved a multibillion dollar arms sale to Qatar, a nation presently (more…)

Heroin Is Treason

We send our thoughts and prayers to the victims of the Manchester concert bombing, and rightly so.  Thousands have given direct material help, including a hegira of free cab rides and housing for displaced concert attendees.  Ariana Grande, who we’d mainly thought of as a typical self-absorbed pop star, had a big charity concert to benefit the victims and in consequence is now generally acknowledged to be “probably human“.

Manchester was one of the first of the big bangs preceding this year’s Ramadan attacks.  Thus far (more…)

Sports Desk: Hundreds Of Billions Of Dollars

(Editor’s Note:  The views of the Sports Desk do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Not Fake News or its staff.  Please don’t sue us.)


It pains me greatly to have to explain this, but you leave me no choice:  We are NOT giving Saudi Arabia guns.  We’re SELLING them guns.  For a LOT of money.

Sometimes, you people scare me.  I mean, forget about fake news.  The real problem is, the viewers are so frigging stupid.

No, not you.  See, the difference is, you read.  I can tell (more…)

Manafort, Nunes, Russia: More Non-News

Two old stories made headlines again today, both Trump-Russia.  Neither one is news.

A short time ago, Rep. Devin Nunes (R. Calif.), Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, held a brief press conference in which he stated he was on his way to the White House to inform the President about a recent discovery.  He’s apparently learned of certain conversations that the government recorded (more…)

The Clean Water Act, Part One

I’m going to be honest:  This may never see Part Two.  There is so very much to write about that a lot of very important things will certainly fall by the wayside over the next few weeks and months, and this may be one of them.

But it was a very important happening on Tuesday, and here it is Thursday and there’s been no coverage.  The major media is letting this slide because they have the same problem I do:  Too much happens all at once, and there’s only one front page.

But this is important (more…)

I’m Pretty Sure He’s Human

For me, the trouble with writing about politics these days is that it’s too easy to say bad things.

I don’t mean that it’s easy to insult the President and his people.  That’s always easy.  It’s always been easy, truth be told, which is exactly why the media always does it:  They meet their deadlines and win Pulitzers and can still make Happy Hour, and (more…)

Bribery: A-O.K.

(Editor’s Note:  The entire editorial staff is far too wasted from our staff V-Day party right now to do any actual editing.  I’m the last man standing and I don’t get paid overtime, so to hell with it.  I’m just going to put this out as-is, with the notes from the Legal Department tipped in.  They should know what they’re doing; otherwise we’re paying them too damn much.  -JW)

Happy Valentine’s Day, Big Oil!  You can now pay bribes again!

I want to start off right now by saying that I’m not against bribes at all.  In fact, I’m so pro-bribe I’ll make it easy for you:  Just send me your money and I’ll accept it with a clean conscience.  I don’t care if you’re Big Oil, Big Tobacco, Big Shampoo, or the Illinois Nazis Peace Through World Conquest Foundation —  I’ll take your money, cash your check, and smile the whole time.

Corruption is a time-honored tradition, and it’s as American as apple pie. (more…)

Requiem For An Unbiased Press

“Objective journalism is one of the main reasons American politics has been allowed to be so corrupt for so long. You can’t be objective about Nixon.”
– Hunter S. Thompson, interview, Atlantic Monthly 09/97

“So much for Objective Journalism. Don’t bother to look for it here — not under any byline of mine; or anyone else I can think of. With the possible exception of things like box scores, race results, and stock market tabulations, there is no such thing as Objective Journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms.”
(from “On The Campaign Trail”)

Once again, the Press has become the story. (more…)

I Am Not Spider Jerusalem

Those who know Spider Jerusalem already know this, and those who don’t know him could care less.  And, let’s face it:  Too many of you don’t know him.

Fifteen, twenty years ago there was a new comic book out under one of DC’s fringe labels — Vertigo or something.  “Transmetropolitan”.  Warren Ellis, Darick Robertson.  I stole their art.  (This is by way of being proper credit.  Besides, I don’t get paid for this; they can sue me.  Whether they do or not, though — read it.  Read it now.  Go out and buy it and read it.)

It was some serious brain-twisting, a mess, a work of paranoid comic genius that showed a horrifyingly plausible (more…)