Fake News

Sports Desk: Hundreds Of Billions Of Dollars

(Editor’s Note:  The views of the Sports Desk do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Not Fake News or its staff.  Please don’t sue us.)


It pains me greatly to have to explain this, but you leave me no choice:  We are NOT giving Saudi Arabia guns.  We’re SELLING them guns.  For a LOT of money.

Sometimes, you people scare me.  I mean, forget about fake news.  The real problem is, the viewers are so frigging stupid.

No, not you.  See, the difference is, you read.  I can tell (more…)

It Helps If You Read The Words

Look, it’s not complicated.  The headlines are there to catch your eye; the articles are the part that you read to figure out what’s being said.  And that’s not just with me; it’s with everyone — every news source, every pundit, everything.

And with the article written by Bret Stephens on the Op-Ed pages of the Times, you’ve got to read the whole thing.  If you stop halfway, you’ll end up thinking he’s a rabid (more…)

Please Hate On Me Like That

The ironies here are deeply layered and beautiful.

But that’s an understatement; it’s worthy of so much more.  It’s like looking into the Grand Canyon of ironies at sunset.  There’s warning signs so irony tourists don’t go wandering around without a map (more…)

Hateful Team Rivalries

OK, huddle up, and take a knee.

I want to talk about team rivalries, and brace yourselves, team:  This will not be pretty.

Many people have been taught to hate the Other Team at all costs.  They’ve been shown – wrongly – that making excuses for themselves, and denying the good plays made by the opposite team, that this is a good thing.  I’m here to tell you, it is not; it is divisive and self-destructive, and it harms our people more than any really bad call ever could. (more…)

Sports Desk: There Is No “Fake News”

Editor’s Note:  This is another in our new series of guest columns on current events.  Once again, here’s the infamous Rudyard “Duke” Milhaus, of the Sports Desk .

Huddle up, gather round, people!

There’s a new playbook being used.  It’s not the prettiest set of plays ever to hit the field, but the Opposition started it and now everyone’s picking up on it, so we’re gonna have to learn it too.  It’s called the “Fake News Play”.
(more…)

The Fake News Doesn’t Tell The Truth

“The Fake News doesn’t tell the truth.”
-President Donald Trump, CPAC speech, 24 Feb 2017

Once again, President Trump spoke out against the Fake News, this time at the CPAC conference at National Harbor.  To be fair, it sounded a lot more powerful when he was talking.  It sounded impressive, deeply meaningful, profound even.  And then I read the words.

Trump sounds great in person.  When you’re watching him with an open mind, he’s an incredibly powerful speaker — but he doesn’t say much.  He’s a skilled orator who uses a third-grade vocabulary to convey simple ideas and make them seem powerful.

The comparison has been made (more…)