DNC

Virtue Signalling For Votes

“The only people truly bound by campaign promises are the voters who believe them.”
― Christopher Hitchens

There are two types of promises:  comforting lies, and those meant to be kept.  Campaign promises differ from normal ones only in the choice of subject; where a doctor might tell a panicked child, “Now, you might feel a little pinch,” a politician will promise to end world hunger (more…)

Bet You Won’t Share This One

“This meme shows what evil bastards Republicans are.”  [LIKE] [SHARE]

It’s this sort of attitude that’s what’s wrong with America today. It’s horribly counterproductive. Your meme will never convince the unconvinced; all it does is make the Democrat feel smug without compelling them to do anything whatsoever.

I’m sure you’ll understand if I don’t (more…)

Treason?

Following the press conference between Trump and Putin, the internet was filled with cries of “Treason!”

Today, congressional Democrats have been shouting loudly for the president’s head; remarkably, so have congressional Republicans.  CNN and MSNBC talking heads have echoed this; even Fox News has criticized Trump’s statements.  Everyone seems to agree:  Heads should roll.

But whose? (more…)

Scoring A Touchdown

(Editor’s Note:  This is another in our ongoing series of guest columns on current events.  Rudyard “Duke” Milhaus of the Sports Desk is well-known for his passionate commitment to objective journalism.  Unfortunately, due to his exhausting schedule of hands-on research into America’s prisons and substance abuse problems, this is the only picture of him we can find.)

Have you ever tried to bargain with someone?  To dicker?  You know, tried to get the best deal on a car, or something else that’s flexible in price?  How you do it is, you start out with an extreme offer, then slowly work your way to a price that’s more in the middle ground, somewhere between what they want to get and what you want to pay. (more…)

Sports Desk: There Is No “Fake News”

Editor’s Note:  This is another in our new series of guest columns on current events.  Once again, here’s the infamous Rudyard “Duke” Milhaus, of the Sports Desk .

Huddle up, gather round, people!

There’s a new playbook being used.  It’s not the prettiest set of plays ever to hit the field, but the Opposition started it and now everyone’s picking up on it, so we’re gonna have to learn it too.  It’s called the “Fake News Play”.
(more…)

To Russia With Love, From The Sports Desk

Editor’s Note:  This is another in our new series of guest columns on current events.  Rudyard “Duke” Milhaus of the Sports Desk is well-known for his passionate commitment to objective journalism.  That we’re publishing his lovely and perfectly neutral article has nothing whatsoever to do with that large-bore handgun he keeps fiddling with.

What’s all this obsession we suddenly have with Russia?  Why is the media being so critical of them?  This is a country that not too many years ago I remember watching as we cheered their peaceful revolution, watched them embrace democracy and capitalism — and now we’re supposed to hate them?!  The new administration apparently wants to get along with them — what’s the matter with that? (more…)

How To Lose All Your Facebook Friends In A Single Post

The longer I spend talking to people about the upcoming presidential elections, the more I’m convinced that Mencken was right:  The American people know what they want, and deserve to get it — good and hard. (more…)